What Happens When I Get Ahead Of Myself

Peace begins when expectation ends. 
-Sri Chinmoy

For the first time in a long time, I had a sense of clarity. I hadn’t felt that in a year or so. The rush of feeling so clear and knowing which path I wanted to take made me get my hopes up even when I tried not too. My plan was to take a course to allow me to get licensed to practice. I wanted to take this course before the holidays so I can start practicing. I looked at the courses available and luckily there was one in October! I wait for a response after I emailed them. One day passes by. Then the second day. I told myself to let it go. If it’s meant to be then it’ll be.

Finally I received a response that said the October course was full but the November one was still open. The rush from feeling on top of the world was quickly replaced with disappointment. I had gotten my hopes up despite my battle. Now I had to wait. My plans had to wait. This was a tough pill to swallow since I wanted so badly to get a head start. As I sat there in wallow as I received an email from The Broad Place (an email subscription about living consciously). It was part 2 to an email about working with true knowing and dealing with disappointment. It’s as if the universe knew exactly what I needed and sent me that message!

In that email, Jac elaborates about a decision she made and how she ignored a calling and came to pay the price later. She had expectations and became disappointed when things didn’t go as planned. She was living and hoping for the future and not being present. She quoted Paulo Coelho in her email:

“the two hardest tests on the spiritual road are the patience to wait for the right moment and the courage not to be disappointed with what we encounter.” 

My disappointment was immediately replaced with ease and trust in the universe after I read that. I realized that I was not living in the present moment. I was hoping and aching for the future to come at a speed that was much too fast for me.

So, as the universe is working to align whatever it may be for me I will be aligning myself to accept whatever that may be. I am trusting the universe. It is not waiting that I am doing but more so readying myself. Jac also quoted “patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet.” 

If you find yourself living for the future or dwelling in the past, let it go. Trust that the universe is working its magic and all will be okay. Expect less from the future and enjoy the present moments. Live in the now.